On June 26th, 2016, the bishop of my church said, “If you are 25 and single, run as fast as you can toward God and see who’s running just as fast as you.” That was the day that I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly three years and decided to run, mouth parted, full throttle toward God. I know what you may be thinking, “Wait, what?! PAUSE. Why? What happened?!” You’re right to be confused about my decision without context. I mean, at the moment my bishop wasn’t necessarily referring to me seeing as I was essentially in a relationship. However, his words hit me like a ton of bricks as a clear directive from the Holy Spirit.
The Dilemma
There were three questions I needed to answer before making this decision: Where am I going? Where is this relationship going? And, is this relationship helping me get to where I’m going? So, if you read my blog earlier this summer entitled “Towed Off: What’s a Testimony without a Test?” then you know that I was facing the most unfocused, unintentional, lost, dazed and confused season of my life. I didn’t know what I was doing and I had very little faith that my circumstances would change to my advantage. I was jobless, essentially planless, and fearful of taking the next step. So, where was I going? I was going LEFT, when I wanted to go RIGHT. So, I ended up lost. Before I knew it, I was experiencing the residual effects of being lost in my relationship. Although there were many things that were unclear at that point in the relationship, it was very clear that I was confused about next steps for us. One day, I was acquiescing to cohabitation. The next day, I was severely condemning the thought under the guise of, “Well I don’t think it’s a good idea for my (nonexistent) career to live there!” So you could understand how this became problematic very quickly. Months later, I found myself at the end of my rope, exhausted from arguing, fruitless planning, and despair. I prayed. I asked God to make it as clear as day of what I should do in this relationship and that if it’s His will that we should stay together, but if not let His will be done. So, He did…quick and in a hurry, might I add! The next day we had the conversation about cohabitation and this time with boldness and the support of the Holy Spirit I confirmed that I will NOT be moving in with him before we are married, that I WILL be focusing on building my relationship with the Lord, and if God ain’t with it, I ain’t in it meaning if God isn’t the center I don’t want anything to do with this or any other relationship. His reaction was so visceral and anti that we had no choice, but to dissolve the relationship. He wasn’t changing his mind and I wasn’t changing my conviction.
Freedom
So, that was the day I took up running. Before I started, I didn’t consider myself a natural runner. In fact, I hated running. It takes a lot of balance, coordination, and endurance. All of which I didn’t find myself to be naturally gifted. However, I hadn’t realized that the gift of running isn’t in the runner, but the wind that carries them. When I was running and focusing on my own effort to breathe it made it harder to go fast and endure. But the moment I surrendered my efforts and allowed everything to flow naturally, I was able to breath rhythmically, take long strides, and run faster. All I needed to do was part my mouth and allow the air to flow in. The moment I did that, things became easier and I started to truly enjoy my run. As such, so is my walk with Christ.
Now, I breathe so deeply that I am filled with a euphoric sense, a sense of presence and enjoyment. I am now in a place where I’m living smarter, not working harder. Something I’ve learned is living smarter isn’t about wit and brunt, it’s about living wiser, allowing your conscious to be guided by the Spirit. Whatever you are working too hard on, I encourage you to stop today and ask God for guidance. Anything that is God ordained flows. Of course one must commit to this flow to experience the ease at which dreams come to fruition. What it comes down to is making a vital decision: which fish do you want to be, the one swimming against the tide or in the direction of the tide?
So bottomline…
Run smarter, not harder.
This applies to running the race for God. If something begins to be difficult to manifest, maybe that’s God’s way of saying “not like this”. Just part your mouth to ask with thanksgiving for your desires. Then trust the Lord will provide.
Prayer of Release
I release all things to You, Lord.
I trust in the power and the holiness of your name.
I believe we are saved by Your grace.
Please cover me as I relinquish all to You, as I surrender to Your holiness, Lord.
Thank You for your continual grace and mercy, Father. Because of the blood of the Lamb, we can live freely.
May I live in your will forever, Lord.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Originally posted on loveannjoy.com on September 25, 2016.
